Well, in a weird, completely different and only very tenuously related way, it reminds of when I first went on a pump. More specifically, when I first had to change a cannula. Why? Because when I first attached for the first time in January 2010, I was acutely aware of everything about the pump. The pump itself, heavy feeling and enormous. The tubing, which I tucked away as neatly as possible and found myself being somehow telepathically aware of its positioning at all times and most of all, I was aware of the cannula.
"Where is it?"
"Did I just knock it?"
"Has it come out?"
"Should it feel this, well, invisible?"
I knew the exact hour and minute when it needed changing; three days after first putting it on. Of course I couldn't last the full 72 hours,what with me having the patience of a chocoholic in a Lindor factory and vaguely recall removing it at about 2.5 days.
What a difference two years make. Nowadays I have the once clumsy and fiddly process down to about 10.5 seconds flat, need to give it no second thought and funnily enough, if I don't set my alarm on my phone to tell me when to change, can easily go a day or two longer before my immune system and blood glucose tells me it has outstayed its welcome.
I guess it shows how easily we adapt to new situations and also how we also get excited about the silly little things. I suppose it was also the first 'big' challenge I had as a pumper. Could I change the cannula? Would I do it right? Would it hurt? I still remember the questions. The biggest one at the time still being, will this work for me? After all, without successful cannula changes, the pump was a no-go track. Every time I see that advert I think of my own excitement, anticipation and wonky attempt at changing those first few cannulas.
Turns out it was one of the most simple aspects of being on a pump and I had nothing to worry about.